Do you have a grumpy kid at home? One that complains that he is bored, tired, and has nothing to do? Do you have a child that always wants new toys and things and nags you endlessly until she gets it? Well, there is a solution to this kind of problem. It is called gratitude. Gratitude work can help make us more thankful for the people, places and things that are in our lives. It puts our lives in perspective of a greater good. There are many programs that discuss this kind of work for adults, but there are fewer that talk about it in regard to our children. Like I've said before in my blog, we parents need to model and begin the desired behavior at home and it always starts with us. WE need to be grateful for the people, places and things in our own lives first. Then, our children will begin to emulate these new behaviors as well. If we see the good, then they will see it too. It begins with us. There are a few tips on ways to begin to recognize and practice gratitude in our own homes:
1. At dinnertime, begin your gratitude practice. State that each person in the family will share 1 thing that they are grateful for. It could be something great that happened during the day, it could be your family, the weather, it can be anything, but it has to be shared together at dinnertime or a time when everyone is present during the day. Once you all feel comfortable with sharing one thing, you can up the ante to 2 or 3 things, and just see how your children's perspective and attitude about this practice and their world blossoms in positive ways.
2. Create a gratitude box. This an actual box that you keep in the house in which you and your children place little slips of paper that say what they are thankful and grateful for in their lives. Then, at the end of the week, sit as a family and read them. You will be surprised at how happy and proud it makes you all feel.
3. In your reactions and actions with your children, it is important that you also demonstrate a positive attitude (which I know isn't always easy). You should also try to compliment before criticize. One of the greatest things that I learned as a teacher is that the best way to change kids' behavior is to compliment and find things that they do well first. Say three positives before a negative. Try to catch your child in the behavior you like/want and make sure you acknowledge it so that the child knows that what he did was good and desired. If all you do is cut him down, then he doesn't know what positive thing to do to get praise. Praise and gratitude are miracles, use them!
If you practice these things you will see the gratitude shine and bring happiness in your home.
I love this! As an educator for almost 28 years...and a mommy...I often forget how important gratitude is. It keeps me centered. There has been a tremendous amount of research done in the area of how gratitude can alter a situation in ways we wouldn't have predicted. Thank you Dr. Kate for reminding me! I have a group of kids this year in my class that a parent said the other day were "tough"...I watch them blossom when I praise them and compliment them and let them know how lucky I am to be there teacher...It is an amazing thing..but I always need reminders...so thank you!
ReplyDeletethis is good stuff, thank you
ReplyDeleteI used to do the dinnertime gratitude practice. We called it highs and lows. We shared our lows of the day and our highlights. It does always help bring the family closer. Thanks Dr. Kate!
ReplyDelete